My Children

There have been a few times when I’ve realized how much my job effects my children….like when we had to cancel my daughter’s sleep-over birthday party due to a lice scare in the neighborhood and she asked me if we could just postpartum the birthday party for a week; or the time my oldest son went to the 6th grade “boys” sex ed class and came back saying it was “stupid” because they didn’t teach anything new; or the time that I was pregnant and when a stranger asked my 2 year old if mommy had a baby in her tummy, she put her hands on her hips and said, “In her UUUuuterus..and mommy is going to go ‘uuuhhhh uhhhhh” and push da baby out her buh-GINA”.

Those are the times in which we laugh about it…but there are other times that I wonder if it’s not so funny. When my daughter gets up in the morning and sees me sitting on the couch wearing my “birth” shirt (I have a shirt that has my logo on it that I wear to every birth so I don’t ruin my ‘normal’ clothes) and says, “Oh maaaaan…’re going to a birth. I wanted to do something with you today.” When I can’t sign up on any of the sheets as a helper for their school, can’t commit to anything for them – I can’t leave the Phoenix metro area, so my children have never known the joy of going camping, have rarely left the city limits. (we do have a family tradition that every time one of my children turn 7 I take time off work and we all take a family vacation to Disneyland, so that was super-uper special to them!).

My husband works from home, so the children are never with a babysitter and have never seen the inside of a daycare – but it is a lifestyle that is different than so many people. They are fortunate that we are financially secure, and that we can often do things as a family within the city limits, and that we live in a wonderful city with many things that it offers. I wonder what my children will think about their childhood, if they will ever know how much I love them.  I wonder if they will think that what I do for a living is amazing, miraculous, and cool…or if they will be embarrassed.

I wonder what will happen when they get married.  I remember the conversation with my oldest son a couple of years ago when he was around 11 or 12, and he marveled while watching a birth reality TV show, “Mom – why do babies cry so much when born in a hospital but not when born at home?”  (he’s been at the birth of all of his younger siblings as well as seen many births)  I just smiled.  He continued, “I don’t know why they go to the hospital….my kids will be born at home.”

UH OH!! Sound the alarms!!!  I said, “Honey, what if your wife wants to go to a hospital and wants to have an epidural and stuff?  Lots of women want those things, and she’s the one that’s pregnant…what if that’s what she wants?”

He thought for a moment and said, “I’ll just have her talk to you!”  he smiled brightly as if he brilliantly found the answer and sat back quite satisfied with himself.

“HUH-UH,” I said, “That’s between you and your wife….you will have to work that out with her!!”

Jeez…I’m one of “those” mother-in-laws and he’s barely hitting puberty!

I just pray that they grow up happy and with the knowledge that I love them more than anything in the world.  Is that enough?  I hope so.


  1. Nikki Ausdemore wrote:

    Your children are blessed to have you for a mom and I’m SURE they know it.

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 1:25 am | Permalink
  2. Dawn Dalili wrote:

    Stephanie, you radiate love is the most powerful way I’ve ever seen. I cannot imagine a scenario in which your children wouldn’t feel that love and know exactly how you feel about them.

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 8:50 am | Permalink
  3. Jessica Brovitch wrote:

    That is why they call it quality time…not quantity time. 😉

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 10:53 am | Permalink
  4. Kolleen wrote:

    I got a little teary reading this because I wonder the same thing about my kids?!? I don’t have nearly the same lifestyle or career that you do, but I always wonder if they will ever truly know how deeply I love them…especially when I have to scold them or tell them no or just plain ‘ol can’t give them whatever it is that they want. Does a mother ever feel like she has done enough to let her kids know the depth of her love?

    Stephanie, from what I know of you your kids know they’re loved and even though you can’t go camping or don’t get to do “those” kinds of things I have a feeling they will look back on their lives fondly. You are a precious person and I have to believe you have given them an AMAZING life and a great heritage to pass on.

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 10:56 am | Permalink
  5. Erika Obert wrote:

    I wonder the same things.

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 11:49 am | Permalink
  6. Genet wrote:

    Stephanie, I think I can comment on this from the other side. My mom was a single mother, worked out of our home with jobs like serving legal papers that made our schedule “weird” sometimes, and homeschooled me from 1st grade through high school despite the fact that it was an extremely unpopular option with her friends, family, and peers at that time. What does that have in common with your situation? She did things differently from the perceived norm and didn’t usually know if it would be as good for her children as she hoped it would be. And you know what? There’s a lot to be said for doing things differently. I started out ahead of the game, knowing that I didn’t have to be like everyone else, that I could choose my own path and be my own person. What more powerful lessons can you teach your children than those you teach by example when you do the work you are called to do, and live a life dictated by your own heart, ethics, and priorities? 🙂

    Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 9:28 am | Permalink
  7. Michelle wrote:

    I’m loving your blog right now. You remind me so much of Peggy Vincent, the midwife who wrote “Baby Catcher”. That book was a great read, and so is your blog!

    Thursday, March 4, 2010 at 12:40 pm | Permalink
  8. Mandy wrote:

    i hope my son feels that way when he gets older. he was horrified to learn that his birth was vaccuum assisted and thinks i should have all the rest of my babies in our bathtub so he can “pull them out” (his words…he’s 3). i also hope he marries someone who believes in natural birth. i don’t want my grandbabies born with drugs in their system, but i don’t want to be “that mother in law” either!

    Friday, February 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm | Permalink

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